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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?